Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Physicists Propose Cheaper Alternative to Particle Colliders: Supermassive Black Holes - Gizmodo

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

2 Years of Exercise Reversed 20 Years of Aging in the Heart: Longest-Ever Randomized Trial on Exercise - Good News Network

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

What’s up in the sky for June 2025? Arietid meteor shower, strawberry moon and much more - WTOP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

F1 in Spain: Now that was a lapse in judgment - Ars Technica

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen at your job?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

ABBA’s Björn Ulvaeus Reveals He’s Writing a New Musical With AI: ‘It’s Fantastic’ and ‘Such a Great Tool’ - Variety

I can read

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

In what ways does Bollywood represent India's culture to the rest of the world through movies, songs, and dance? Is this representation accurate?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t buy bullshit

Measles vaccination rates drop after COVID-19 pandemic in counties across the US - AP News

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Thomson Reuters Ushers in the Next Era of AI with Launch of Agentic Intelligence - Thomson Reuters

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Have you made a female relative or friend squirt?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I actually pay taxes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can count

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand how hurricane paths work

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability